Have you ever heard the rumor that mattresses are only good for something like 5 years? I’d heard it but…mattresses are expensive. How did “they” know if mine was no longer giving me proper support?
Heh. Turns out “they’re” right. But it took getting a new mattress for me to realize it. (Someone remind me in 5 years it’s time to go shopping again…)
So anyway, mattress shopping=semi-nightmare.
First of all, the stakes are mountain high. Your quality of sleep for the next 1,800+ days/nights (if you’re a good little consumer and replace it in 5 years) depends on this one item. Get the wrong mattress and you could wake up every morning grumpy or sore. Worse, your spouse could wake up grumpy! *shudder*
So maybe you research before you shop or maybe you look into the options and get overwhelmed and stop researching. *raising hand* But even if you study up, it comes down to what feels best when you lay on it. For one hundred twenty seconds, give or take.
No pressure. Really.
Which brings us to the actual act of choosing a mattress set. When else are we expected to lay around in public while people mill by? Bad enough to try to get comfortable in an airport during a long layover (yes, I’ve sprawled on the dirty floor before.) But to do this willingly, when you’re not desperate for sleep…I don’t know, it seems odd. Makes me feel exposed. But reclining in public is necessary. Roll over on your side if you’re a side sleeper. Curl up with the pillow just like you would in the privacy of your own bedroom. Oh, the pillow…
Yeah the pillows on the store model mattresses are another fun adventure. In my experience, they put out the cushiest, comfiest pillows…so soft you can’t help snuggling into one and trying to get comfortable. Until you think about how many heads have been curled up with that very pillow, how many people probably didn’t wash their hair that day, how many may have sneezed into it…. Yeah. Nasty. I’ll pass on the pillows, thanks.
So you lie down while strangers stare at you and bounce (not literally, though it’s not a bad idea) from mattress to mattress, trying to discern some difference between this cushion and that, between super high-end support and mere high-end support. Et cetera. Frankly, they all felt decent to me and had there not been multitudes walking six inches from me, I could’ve settled in for a nap.
But back to the task. The decision.
Thankfully, my husband and I easily agreed on the mattress we wanted. So then it’s the moment of truth: the price tag.
HOW FREAKING MUCH for a set of cushions to sleep on top of? Do they put sheets and blankets on themselves? Clean the carpet beneath the bed? Give massages? Our ancestors slept on pine needles and dirt. We just need a horizontal surface, right?
Oh no, we need four digits of high tech comfort.
And frankly, yeah. Maybe we’re pampered these days but I for one am not willing to sacrifice my comfort to save a buck.
We made our high-stakes, high-pressure purchase and have luxuriated in not sleeping in a dent for the past week. So far so good…but what if we start sinking into new indentations in 3 months?
Oh, never fear. The warranty is good for 6 months! If you’re not happy with your overpriced mattress, you can return it for free (except for delivery fees, which I’m sure are more than a buck ninety nine) and pick out a new mattress…as long as it’s of equal or greater value and yes you have to pay the difference.
Which brings up an entirely different concern…what, exactly, do they do with used-for-five-months-mattresses and how do I know that’s not what’s sitting in my bedroom?
