I get asked this question frequently.  Usually it’s after a couple of drinks have been downed.  Half the time it’s from someone who surprises me by admitting they would like to write a book.  Every time, I’m not really sure how to answer.  I think I struggle for words and then usually spit out something like, “I just sit down and…write.”  Honest, I’m not trying to be a smart ass, but I don’t know what else to say.

Because, honestly?  The absolute hardest part of writing is sitting down to do it.  Why?  Well, the discipline is tough.  No one else gives a rat’s behind whether you write or not.  It’s all  YOU and deciding you’re going to do it.  Putting it above some of your other priorities and responsibilities.  Doing it regularly, preferably every day.

So you work at the discipline thing and you schedule a regular time each day or each week and you’re doing the sitting part.  Obstacle #1:  conquered (for now.)

On to obstacle #2:  anxiety.

Yeah, no one warns you about that one before you start.

And I never really thought about it until I went to a workshop a few years ago given by Eric Maisel, who, according to his website, is the founder of creativity coaching.  I was sleepy when I wandered into his workshop, not really willing, but following a friend who had guilted me into attending more workshops at the writing conference we were at.  I knew this guy was well-known, one of the big names at the conference, so what the heck?  As long as we sat in the back in case I dozed off.

I didn’t doze off.

I learned a ton but what I want to mention today is Maisel’s point that writing is anxiety.  (Paraphrasing completely…it’s been three years.)  Basically, when you write, especially fiction, you have to make decision after decision after decision.  Character’s name.  Setting.  Genre.  Hair color.  Character’s background.  Main and secondary characters’ roles, relationships, personalities, ways of dressing, manner of speaking, etc etc etc.  What happens at every single turn of the story, and in between every single turn of the story.  Making decisions, he reminded us, can cause anxiety.  (Ha!  Understatement much?)

You get to play God to your story, and as it turns out, it’s kind of stressful being God.

Why am I rambling about this now?

Heh.  Because rambling about the anxiety of writing a book is a heck of a lot easier than facing that anxiety and actually writing the book.  (Remember that part about conquering the discipline?  Learning to sit in the chair to write?  Yeah, it becomes nearly impossible again at this stage, at least for me.)

I turned in the first three chapters and a 10-page synopsis of this book to my editor a few weeks ago.  I took a break to work on other things, travel, haul my kids all over the universe to their summer activities.  I spent last week plotting in a little more detail (I know a 10-page synopsis sounds like I’ve plotted it to death, but honestly, I don’t have a clue what happens in this book beyond boy meets girl, boy and girl have conflict, other stuff happens, and boy and girl live happily ever after.)

Now it’s time to face the music, and it’s not a peaceful pretty song.  It’s more like the hardest, most discordant acid rock you’ve ever heard played at full volume at the same time as a John Phillips Sousa march, equally cranked to 10.

First decision:  Line 1 of chapter 4.

And then every other line afterward in the 75,000-word book.

So yeah.  I guess I’m off, because you can only blog for so long….

These shoes are a big reason I still hurt.

I’m back and happy to report I survived two weeks of NYC and Chicago. (My feet are screaming at me to add “barely” after “survived.”  They are still suffering.)

Larissa Ione and me at the Literacy Signing

The RWA Conference was great, inspiring, motivating, exhausting and fun.  The literacy signing was INSANE.  Every year, it’s open to the public and we usually get quite a few readers from the city we’re in, but this year, it exploded.  People started lining up outside the hotel 4 hours before the signing started.  There were so many that they couldn’t let everyone in at once and had to stagger them.  The signing was supposed to end at 7:30 but they were encouraging authors to stay as late as they could.  I was ecstatic to have a place to sit in the midst of it all.

Kay Stockham, Jeannie Watt, Ellen Hartman and me.

I met some fabulous readers and aspiring writers and then rushed off to have dinner with some author friends at the somewhat questionable-looking Galaxy Diner.  I’m thrilled to report the pancakes were delish.

Other highlights were the workshops I managed to attend…I hit 3 really good ones…the Harlequin party (of course) and watching my editor freak out about the workshop Jeannie Watt convinced her to give.

Me with Jan Kenny at the Rita ceremony

The Rita ceremony was emotional as always (every year I swear the winners aren’t going to drive me to tears and every year I’m wrong.)  Congratulations to my fellow Superromance author (and WisRWA member) Helen Brenna for her win in the Series Romantic Suspense category! (Hope I got that right.)

Tasha and Kay, my fabulous roomies, at Rockefeller Center

The non-conference highlight was sightseeing with my roomies.  We took an awesome 5-hour tour via bus and boat and got to see, well, a fraction of NYC.  Central Park, the Dakota where John Lennon was shot, the Soup Kitchen from Seinfeld, Wall Street, Ground Zero, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty and actually a lot of other sites.  We also saw Patrick Dempsey as well as the Naked Cowboy.

I was home two full days before my family and I took off for a short getaway to Chicago. In three days we hit Legoland Discovery Center, a U2 concert, the Hancock Tower, an architecture river cruise, the Lego store and other shopping on Michigan Ave, dinner with friends from Des Moines, and the Museum of Science and Industry.  (See why my feet are still paying for it?)

The trip home included start-and-stop traffic, a dose of rush-hour, and a kid puking red Hawaiian punch in the backseat.  Oh and did I mention really tired feet?

Good times.  Now I’m off to (recover and) dive back into the writing so I have an excuse to go to next year’s RWA conference.  :)

(If you’d like to see the rest of my NYC pictures, you can see the ones from conference here and the ones from the city here.  You should be able to see those even if you don’t have a Facebook account.  I hope to post them on my website soon but no promises….)