I’ve been covering pretty non-serious topics here lately but today I need to veer away from that and mention something of Utmost Importance. I’m hoping someone out there with some power hears me and does something about it.

I’m not talking about oil spills or world peace…I’m tackling the topic of women’s jeans and the way they fit. Or don’t, actually.

I thought it was just me.

I thought I was odd-shaped, the misfit, the impossible-to-clothe one. I’ve always kind of thought that, really, because jeans almost never fit me, no matter what store I shop at.

But the other day, I was discussing women’s jeans with a friend and, lo and behold, they never fit her either! In particular, we brought up a specific low-priced store with an annoying mannequin ad campaign where in order to get jeans that fit over your hips, you have to deal with a waist that’s about 6 inches too big. It’s like wearing a gargantuan tulip around your middle. Sure, we could use a belt, but…a belt can only do so much. With that much extra material, you really need steel reinforcements to cinch them in appropriately.

Yes, my hips and butt are as big as the moon but I have a hard time believing very many people are the proportions this particular store seems to make clothes for.

So before you think I’m just bitching for the sake of filling a blog post, I want to reassure you my friend and I came up with a solution.

Adjustable-waist jeans for women. Just like they make for little boys and girls now (thank you God).

We want the little elastic strip on the inside, with button holes at different increments, so you can cinch in the jeans internally. And then maybe a belt would do the rest of the trick.

Beyond the initial fit the day you try them on in the store, think of the other implications: On fat days, you just let them out one notch on both sides. After that one week where you dedicate yourself to working out every day and you lose 6 pounds of water weight, you can take them in. Then after rewarding yourself with cake, French fries and string cheese for your gallant week-long effort, you can let the jeans back out and avoid making an official switch to your fat clothes.

So…someone with jean power out there, why have you not made non-ugly women’s jeans with an adjustable waist? Is it because you want to sell us 3 different sizes for our 3 different weight ranges we all seem to have? You would make more loyal customers if you just let us be an adjustable size ? year-round.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 28th, 2010 at 9:47 am and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.