So I have a confession to make: I’m a wine idiot. And another confession? I’m totally fine with this. When we first got married, my husband was into the whole wine snob connoisseur thing. He subscribed to a wine magazine, read up on ones we had to try, kept track of all things wine-ish. He had the vocab down. I think he saw my eyes glaze over a few too many times as I held out my glass for “more of whatever”, and he’s kind of moved on.
Since we like to drink wine, someone has to do the choosing at the liquor store. While this used to fall to him, it’s now become a game where I get to do most of the “work.” And it’s a job I embrace because, after years of stumbling around thinking, how the hell would I know what’s good??, I’ve come up with a method. While it’s not a surefire means of getting home with awesome grapeness (see? I still don’t know the lingo), it’s amusing and has a decent success rate.
My method?
It’s all in the marketing. The names, in fact.
The more creative the wine name, the more likely I am to buy a bottle. Extra points for a cool label.
My latest choice was an Ass Kisser chardonnay. Others that have come home with me: Red Truck, Fat Bastard, Gnarley Head, Fish Eye, Barefoot, Big Ass Cab, and Menage a Trois. Some that I aspire to try: Train Wreck, Evil, Mommy’s Time Out and Herding Cats.
I tried to explain this to my dad on Thanksgiving Eve as we were at the liquor store selecting wine for Turkey Day but he just didn’t appreciate it. He accused me of falling prey to the marketing department…as if that was a bad thing. And then he headed back over to the snooty, uninspiredly named Mondavi and….yeah, um, I can’t remember any others he was interested in because the names? Weren’t memorable.
Anyone with me on this? Tasted any decent wines with a name that made you take notice? Send recommendations, please…I need ideas for my dad’s Christmas present. 
I think you have some short story titles that would appeal to an odd variety of people. I’d read Herding Cats!
It doesn’t have a weird name, but if your dad likes a sweet red wine, he’d really like the blackberry wine from Orchard Country Winery in Door County.
At the orthodontist, no joke, I learned that “Friends” is a good red.
Well, I looked up odd wine names and found these.
Bitch
Oops
Frogs Pee
Cat’s Pee On A Gooseberry Bush
I have no idea if these wines are still available, but wouldn’t they look funny sitting on you holiday table.
Naughty Marietta
Rhapsody in Blue
Fantasy
Just to name a few that I’ve tried.
Frog’s Pee? OMG, this is too funny. The first thing I thought was how some of these would make interesting category romance titles
. Hmmmm…’Mommy’s Time Out’? Or even plain ‘Oops’ would be funny.
What your post doesn’t say is if the “snooty” wines your dad picked out actually tasted good? I like the St. James Winery wines and I also like a Japanese Plum wine from a company called “Suki”.
I’ve heard of the Fat Bastard wine but have never tasted it and if the name is too weird…won’t do it:)
I tend to go for packaging – I once had a very nice white from a bottle shaped like a cat.
My list just got longer! Love some of these names. Kudos to the evil marketing geniuses.
Tasha, I aspire to find the cat-shaped bottle. I bow down to you, sister.
A big thank you for your blog post.Really looking forward to read more.